- My recent experience with staying authentic
- How to be authentic in the face of temptation
- How minimalism helps with authenticity
Tuesday, December 24, 2019
How Minimalism Keeps You Authentic
What is a Minimalist Person?
A minimalist person is often described as someone who wants a simpler life. But I’d like to expand on that definition because as a minimalist I actually prefer things to be easy over being simple. Either way, for me, minimalism is about letting go of anything that takes your time, space, energy, and money away from what’s really important. It allows you to focus down on the most important people, things, and ideas in your life.
Common characteristics among minimalists
Among people I know that are minimalist, there are a few things that I’ve noticed in common:
They make what’s most important to them a priority. They willingly give up things that don’t matter as much, and it makes them feel better to do it.
They enjoy having open, uncluttered space in their homes.
Living with less is not seen as restrictive; it’s empowering. It’s freedom.
Minimalists make choices that allow them to have more purpose in their lives.
If any of these things resonate with you, then you might be a little bit minimalist, too! But even so, minimalism looks different for everybody. In order for it to work for you, it has to change as you do. It must adapt to the different phases of your life.
The key is that it should make your life better. If minimalism makes you feel trapped, unhappy, or deprived, then one of two things are happening. Either you are not applying minimalism in a way that works for your life, or it simply isn’t a good fit for your personality. While I personally don’t believe that having a bunch of stuff or a crowded schedule is right for me, I also believe that trying to force someone to live like I do is not going to make anyone happy. So if you feel like minimalism is too restrictive for you, then maybe you should explore other options to make your life better.
How do I know if minimalism is right for me?
As you saw from my previous articles about different types of minimalism, there are a lot of ways to be minimalist. If you haven’t read these posts yet, I suggest you go back starting with the first one: What is an Aesthetic Minimalist? Work your way through them, and look for things about them that seem interesting and exciting.
My personal favorite, if you haven’t guessed, is what I call “gradual minimalism.” I’m big on planning, so huge decisions in my life usually do not happen quickly. Choices that I make happen over months or years. I’m nearly a decade into my minimalist journey and I know there will still be more changes. Also, as I mentioned before, I will choose easy over simple. For example, I recently bought an air fryer from Amazon because even though it’s big and bulky, it makes my life easier. I can bake things in there without having to turn on the oven and make the RV hot, which then requires me to use the air conditioner. We use it several times per week, so it’s worth it even if I’m less than thrilled about how much space it takes up. I’m being true to myself and what I need to do to make my life better. Does that make me less minimalist? If it does, I don’t really care.
So if you’re trying to be more minimalist but it feels like it’s starting to chafe, take a break. Perhaps you’re just going too fast for your comfort. Try slowing down or even stopping for a bit. Look at the situation from different angles. Focus back on what you really want, and see how your current actions are aligning with your goals.
For me, possessions are just one aspect of minimalism. But it’s a good place to start. Owning and managing stuff tends to mess with how much time, money, and stress we have. Not to go all Marie Kondo on you, but is what you own making you happy? She says that as you hold each object, it should spark joy, like how you feel when you’re hugging a puppy. How much joy does your possessions create? How would your life be different if you didn’t own (fill in the blank)?
There’s a saying among minimalists: do you own your stuff, or does it own you? Is a life dictated by your possessions a life that will make you happy and fulfilled?
How would your life look different if you didn’t own the big house with the expensive mortgage? The car with the hefty monthly payments? That outfit you had to use your credit card to buy? The collectibles on your shelf that take you an hour to dust every week? The kitchen gadgets that you thought you needed, but just get shoved out of the way to get to the items you actually use?
No judgment here. Life is full of choices and nobody makes the best choice every time. I've made a bunch of decisions that I regretted later, and I bring those examples up because I have personal experience with a lot of them. But if I look at them objectively, none of them worsened my life irreparably. They were just bumps in the road. So if you feel like something you decided was a bad idea, give yourself some compassion. Look at it as a learning experience, and do what you can to change how things are right now and in the future.
Do I have to get rid of everything I own to be a minimalist?
Absolutely not! I know that there are several minimalists out there who proudly say they don’t own a TV, and maybe even sleep on a mattress on the floor, because owning a bed frame is not minimalist enough for their tastes. If they are happy living that way, that’s what works for them. But that doesn’t work for everyone, and I don’t believe in condemning people because they choose to watch television or own some furniture. I watch TV. In fact, our current RV has three TVs in it. All three of them get used regularly. <<Shrug>>
I’m betting that just about everyone out there thinks they have more than they need, no matter how minimally they live. Life is cyclical, and people often go through times of abundance and scarcity. As we get comfortable with routines, some clutter will build up and need to be dispersed once again.
Also, what you have now may be just right for this moment, but too much or too little for a future version of yourself. I don’t recommend using this as an excuse to hang on to things you don’t need right now, though.
How can I be minimalist if my family isn’t?
This is a common problem and a situation that I have myself. Out of the three people in my household, I am the most minimalist. It can be a challenge to be more minimalist than the people you live with, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do what’s right for you.
However, as I mentioned before, trying to force someone to do it with you isn’t likely to work. Even if those close to you agree to become minimalist, it’s likely you still will disagree on the level of minimalism you want in your life.
Here are some suggestions on being minimalist when those around you aren’t:
Focus on your personal possessions rather than joint possessions when it comes to decluttering. You can still be minimalist with your own clothing, books, electronics, etc.
Try to carve out a space that is a clutter-free zone. Even if it’s just half of your bedroom, ask the people you live with to respect how you have arranged this space, and not dump their stuff into your area.
If other people’s opinions or actions distract you, keep going back to what’s important to you. Maybe it’s consuming less so you can be debt-free, or spending less time on chores so you can take better care of yourself. If it helps, put an inspirational quote or picture up where you can see it to remind you.
Sadly, I have seen people divorce because one wanted to make life changes and the other didn’t. The objective in minimalism is to make more room in your life for what’s most important to you. So if you find yourself fighting with your loved ones over how much stuff you have, ask yourself: is it more important to you to lose the stuff, or keep your loved one?
Lead by example rather than trying to convince. As you become more minimalist, you will have more free time. You’ll have more focus. You’ll feel lighter and happier. Seeing these changes happen in your life may be enough to at least make others curious about how they can be that way, too. Be open and free of judgment when answering any questions they have.
Talk to your partner about you working alone in a common area. They may not want to participate but are willing to let you do your minimalist makeover by yourself. Ask if they have any reservations, or if there’s anything in there they really want to keep. Let the results of a cleaner, more efficient space speak for themselves.
Be supportive if your family gets irritable, hurt, or accusatory as you work on your own minimalism. There may be a strong emotional component in their attachment to their stuff that makes them feel threatened by the changes you make. Read my post about why it’s so hard to get rid of your stuff for more information about this.
Employ patience, and look for support elsewhere if you can’t find it at home. Try connecting with other minimalists, or maybe seeking counseling, either by yourself or with your partner. If this is something important to you, then your feelings should be valued just as much as other people’s. Find a way to have your needs respected without treading on other’s feelings.
Being a minimalist person is a journey, not a destination
I’m not aware of anyone who got rid of that one last thing and said, “I’m done now. I’m exactly the perfect amount of minimalist and this is how it’ll be forever.” I think the key to enjoying a minimalist lifestyle is appreciating what you have and how it serves you while being open to change.
Meanwhile, a person who consumes heavily will always be reaching for more. No matter what they buy, it will never bring lasting satisfaction. But I think everyone has at least a little of that pull to consume inside of them.
We all have those moments—the ones where we come across an artfully marketed something or another in an ad, a store, or demonstrated convincingly by someone whose opinion carries weight with us. Our mind starts fantasizing about having what the product promises. Or maybe having the life that the actor or salesperson says we can have if we just owned this one thing.
Sometimes we give in, sometimes we don’t. Which decision is correct? That’s something only you can say for yourself.
What is a Frugal Minimalist?
Features of an expense minimalist
- Trying to reduce debt
- Wanting to build up savings or retirement account
- Wanting the freedom to live a simpler life that costs less money so they can work less
Behind the scenes of a financial minimalist
Ways to incorporate expense minimalism into your life
- If you don't have one already, create a budget. Examine ways that you can reduce any excess expenses. For ideas about this, see my post: 13 Things to Stop Buying to Save Money.
- Try using a purchase pause, especially when you are thinking about making a big or expensive purchase. A purchase pause simply means waiting to buy an item for a certain amount of time to make sure that you really want it or need it. You can pause for 24 hours, a week, 30 days, or longer. I like to wait at least a month, and I find that usually by the end of that month I no longer have an urge to buy what I thought was so important before. While you are pausing, consider how the purchase will affect your finances in the long term. Think about how many hours you will have to work to pay for this item. Think about how much interest you will have to pay to buy it (if you are using credit). Ask yourself how making this purchase will affect your goals in other areas of your life, such as taking a vacation, buying food, or retiring.
- Look at items that you have not used in at least six to twelve months. Is it realistic that you will need them anytime in the future? How easy and cost-effective would it be to replace this item should you need it? Is it likely that someone else out there could put your possession to use immediately, instead of it collecting dust at your house?
- When deciding on things to buy, weigh the current cost against their future value. Sometimes, it is more frugal to spend some extra money now than to save money now but pay again later. The cost of living is only likely to go up. Therefore, your dollars go further today than tomorrow.
- When grocery shopping, look to buy items in bulk. Most grocery store tags show the cost of an item by weight. Most of the time, buying a 20 lb bag of rice will be cheaper than buying 10 two-pound bags of rice. This will save you money, but only if you eat a lot of rice. We go through rice like crazy in our house, so this makes a lot of sense for us. If you don’t eat a lot of any particular food, then it’s best to focus only on buying quantities of what you will consume within the next week.
- Try various apps and websites to save money on everything that you buy. some examples are Ibotta, Ebates, coupons.com, and RetailMeNot. Just don't fall into the trap of buying something just because it comes with a discount. Oftentimes, these products still cost more than other brands or generic/store brands.
- Buy now only what you need right now. Things change, and you aren’t likely to recover the cost of something you buy but never use.
- For some people, being either frugal or minimalist is not a choice, but a necessity. If your financial situation prevents you from over-owning or overspending, consider this a blessing. You are gaining valuable skills in how to live with less and appreciate everything that you have. If you were previously in this situation and now find yourself with more income and buying freedom, it may be tempting to spend more freely and fill up your house with the things that you didn't have before. Try to measure your choices against impulse. Use reason and logic to decide where your money goes and how your space is used rather than making emotional buying choices that may harm you in the future or leave you with buyer's remorse.
- Consider the sunk cost fallacy. This is where a person continues to hold on to something because they fear that by letting go of it, they're losing money. The fallacy behind this idea lies in that you can recover the cost you paid by continuing to own something. Generally, everyday items have an unrecoverable cost. You have spent the money, it is gone, and keeping something that you already paid for does not change that fact.
Friday, December 20, 2019
What is an Eco-Minimalist?
Features of an eco-minimalist
Behind the scenes of an eco-minimalist
Ways to incorporate eco-minimalism into your life
- As you’re downsizing, make sure you have a new home for things you aren’t keeping that doesn't involve putting them in a landfill. There are ways to find a new place for just about anything out there. Take a look at my post about getting rid of stuff for some ideas.
- Pick an area of your life where you spend a lot of money. Food is a good place to start for many people. There are many, many things that people can do to make more planet-friendly food choices. Here are just a few simple ones: eating produce in season, choosing products with minimal packaging, and buying whole (real, unprocessed) foods as much as possible.
- For times when you have to use paper products, choose brands that use recycled paper, or more sustainable paper alternatives.
- Those of us who are RVers and camp off-grid know about “military showers.” It’s also something many of us grew up within drought-stricken California. It’s where you run the water to get your hair and body wet, turn it off to soap up, and turn it back on again to rinse. Using this method is a water-efficient way to brush your teeth, wash your hands, and wash dishes as well.
- As they need replacing, switch out appliances for more energy-efficient versions, toilets, and showerheads for their water-conserving counterparts, and incandescent or fluorescent bulbs for LED ones. Try not to change out things just because you want to get green as quickly as possible. Wait until you actually need to do it because the old equipment is worn out.
- If you do end up getting rid of something, do you really need to replace it? It’s ok to have empty space.
- When you need to buy something, I recommend using the following order to search out your purchase and reduce your impact on the planet: 1. local and used, preferably of eco-friendly materials; 2. local, eco-friendly, and new; 3. used but online; 4. new, eco-friendly, online; 5. purchase pause. If you’re not familiar with the term purchase pause, I’ll be discussing it in more detail in my next post.
Renew
Reuse
At home, use old rags or reusable cloths for cleaning. Try out cloth napkins instead of paper ones.
Instead of buying new containers to store things, consider reusing empty containers you would otherwise throw away or recycle. I love using old glass jars from pasta sauce for dry goods (or homemade pasta sauce).
Recycle
Wednesday, December 18, 2019
What is an Essential Minimalist?
Features of an essential minimalist
Behind the scenes of an essential minimalist
Ways to incorporate essential minimalism into your life
- For those who want to downsize in all areas of their lives, try the 100 things challenge, but instead of giving away the rest of your stuff, put it all in your garage, basement, or storage locker. Try to use only 100 items (total) for an entire month, while keeping the rest out of sight and out of use. But 100 is just a number someone came up with because it seemed catchy—the number that works for you could be lower or higher. It just should be less than what you use right now. After the month is up, challenge yourself to see if you even remember what it is that you stored away. Do you really need all of it?
- If paring down to 100 things in your entire home seems way too overwhelming and scary, consider doing a trial downsize in only one area of your life. For example, you could create a capsule wardrobe (see My Minimalist Closet for ideas). Or, have only one item per person in your kitchen for a month (one spoon, fork, knife, bowl, plate, and cup per person in your household).
- As stuff wears out, replace it with higher-quality items that last. For example, instead of having six pairs of cheap shoes that start to look bad after only a few months, buy a single pair of well-made shoes that you can keep on hand for years.
- Or when something breaks, let it go without replacing it. Don’t hold on to things you never use if they don’t function properly. Face the reality that their usefulness has passed, and find the best way to remove them from your life permanently.
- Decide to cut down to 50% of what you have in a certain area of your life. For a lot of women, cutting down their beauty products by 50% would still mean they have too much stuff. I see women with bags or drawers full of beauty supplies, and there is no possible way they could use every product each day--or even every week or month! Try a capsule set of items surrounding your normal beauty routine, and throw out or store away everything else in an unmarked box. After 30 days, if you can’t remember what you put away, you probably don’t need it.
- When you go grocery shopping, don’t buy things just because you’re running low. For example, if you realize you have a bag of flour in your pantry that expired, don’t buy a new one right now. See how long you can wait until you actually bake something. Don’t buy extras of items just because they’re on sale, and limit your impulse buying by having a meal before you go to the store. Try to work off of a list instead of buying whatever looks good, and keep your purchases to what you can eat in a week. Aim to empty your kitchen of food (including most dry, frozen, and canned goods) before you go out to buy more.
- Unsubscribe from all mailed advertisements, magazines, and emails that are trying to sell products. Not only do they represent the temptation to buy things you don’t need, but they are cluttering your home and your inbox. Not to mention the wasted time to sift through them to get to important things like bills and correspondence from friends.
- Create a budget that is reasonable and realistic for your income and stick to it. Focus on paying off any debt and putting money into savings and retirement accounts rather than spending it on filling up your space.
- For one week, cut out any social engagements or activities that are not essential. Essential might be your weekly yoga class, which helps reduce stress. Going to Happy Hour and spending $30 on drinks might not be as essential. Firmly say no to anything that does not fully align with your intentions for the week to get things done. At the end of the week, note how you feel. Did you feel less stress? Did you achieve more goals? Did you notice (and enjoy) having extra free time?
- On the action side of essential minimalism, take one area of your life where you want to do better, and start working on that. If it’s your finances, take a class about budgeting, getting rid of debt, or investing. If it’s your health, learn more about nutrition and how to cook balanced, tasty meals at home, or make an appointment with a doctor to help you get on track with your health goals. If you always wanted to learn photography, learn it! The point is, choose something that you do and improve how well you do it. Make space for it by putting aside activities that you don’t consider a priority.
- Give yourself space in your schedule to do nothing. You can even block out time on your calendar. Then, resist the temptation to mess with your phone, tidy up the house, or whatever other productive things you think you should be doing. Instead, daydream about what you want for your life. Sit outside and take in some nice views. Take a nap. Slow down and just be present. This may seem off-task for essential minimalism. But automotive mogul Henry Ford saw how the productivity of his factory workers went down after they worked too many hours in a row and started instituting a maximum 40-hour workweek. We've known for a long time that stopping to do nothing improves our ability to take action.
- Try using Zen techniques to improve your focus on what you are doing. Leo Babauta from Zen Habits discusses bringing more mindfulness into each day, and each activity done each day. The main concept is to do one thing at a time and focus fully on that task while you do it. When you eat a meal, just eat the food. Don’t also watch TV, or answer emails, or drive. When you take a walk, just walk. Don’t look for shots to Instagram, or keep one eye on what you’re texting. Over time, you will find yourself in a more meditative state and calmer overall.
Tuesday, December 17, 2019
What is an Experiential Minimalist?
Features of an Experiential Minimalist
- Using money to take art classes instead of buying clothes
- Going out to eat with friends frequently instead of getting a new phone every year
- Living in a cheap apartment so you can work less and have more time for volunteering, being more involved in your place of worship, or taking a more active role in your community
- Giving up your home and most of your stuff to move in with a sick relative—or clearing space in your home so a loved one can move in with you
- Cutting down on expenses so you can afford to cut back on work hours and stay home with your kids
- Buying books or music instead of furniture or clothing
Behind the Scenes of an Experiential Minimalist
Ways to Incorporate Experiential Minimalism Into Your Life
- Choose going out to eat over buying a pair of shoes
- Save up money for a weekend away instead of using it on decor for your home
- Take the kids to Disneyland instead of buying them gifts for Christmas
- Hire someone to clean your house so you can sit at the beach all day
- Cut your cable bill and use the money on a spa day each month
- Pay for a healthy meal service so you have time to meditate or exercise instead of grocery shopping and cooking.
- For your next birthday, ask people to volunteer with you at your favorite charity instead of giving you presents.
- There are more ideas in my blog post, Spending Money Where It Matters Most.
- In general, choose to focus on things that have a more lasting positive effect on your life. Most studies show that the euphoria from shopping quickly fades, but remembering events creates more sustainable happiness.