Do you know the difference between satisfaction and gratification? The words are often used interchangeably, but their definitions are not the same. In this post, I want to discuss how minimalism can satisfy, and not just gratify, and why this is so important.
- The definitions of satisfaction and gratification
- Examples of gratification from everyday life
- Why gratification alone doesn't support a minimalist lifestyle
- Examples of satisfaction in minimalism
- How to have both satisfaction and gratification in your life as a minimalist
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The definitions of satisfaction and gratification
The concept for this article came from a weird place, and it's probably going to be my most philosophical post yet. If you find you like this sort of topic, let me know!
I'm an avid reader, and I just finished reading a book by A.J. Rico called Psycho Bitch: A Love Story. If you haven't read this, I don't want to spoil it for you by giving away too many details. But if you like modern fiction, then this is a good one (TW: discussions of childhood neglect). I dislike the name. But really, the name is the worst part of the story.
In the book, the main character talks about her realization that she'd been focused on gratification but never felt satisfied. I hadn't ever looked into the definitions of each term and had always assumed they were synonyms and not very different.
According to Merriam-Webster's website, the term satisfaction as defined in the context we're using is "a fulfillment of a need or want." Another listed definition is "a source or means of enjoyment: GRATIFICATION."
If you click on gratification from there, you see that it's defined as "a source of satisfaction or pleasure."
While both definitions mention positive feelings, it appears that gratification is more closely linked with how you feel, while, "fulfillment of a need or want" seems to be linked to more tangible results. A.J. Rico explained this much more eloquently in the book, but hopefully, I'm making sense here. I'm going to give examples below for each to further explain my theory.
Examples of gratification from everyday life
Again from Merriam-Webster, they give the example sentence "Eating good chocolate gives me a sense of intense gratification." What I extract from this sentence is that at the time when the writer is eating chocolate, and probably immediately after, they feel good. What's unspoken, and is common for many people is that the feeling may change to something negative when eating chocolate is recalled later. Maybe it leads to an upset stomach, or guilt about going off a diet or worries that someone who finds out will shame you.
Another example is an impulse buy. Maybe there's an initial pleasure when you first bring the item home. But later on, there's anxiety when looking at your bank account or credit card balance.
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| My happiness is always short-lived after buying something. |
Now, let's look at something completely benign and its after-effects. I mentioned the book I just read. It was free, so there are no monetary consequences to reading it. I didn't read it instead of doing something else I needed to, so it's just an enjoyable hobby. The ending was OK, kind of predictable, but acceptable, and didn't take away that much from the book as a whole.
Overall, I feel gratified. But will I still have that same level of pleasure from this book a week, month, or year after I've read it?
Probably not. In fact, within 24 hours of finishing the book, I moved on to another story. One book does not satisfy my interest in reading over the long term.
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| I'm always ready to read another book! |
In conclusion, gratification feels nice, but it tends to be fleeting. There may also be negative backlash later, once the initial glow fades. Either way, it won't be long before you have to search out another source of gratification.
Why gratification alone doesn't support a minimalist lifestyle
Pulled from previous posts on this blog, let's define minimalism as the practice of focusing on the things that matter most to you and letting go of other things that matter less. By narrowing down what you focus on, you decide that the less important things can be set aside. This creates space, time, and energy for what really matters. And what matters is entirely personal to the individual.
However, I think it's been well-established that cluttering your life with too much is not minimalist behavior. The "too much" can be in the form of possessions, activities, feelings, responsibilities, debt, etc. There are simply only so many hours available, and it just isn't possible to do all the things, all of the time.
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| I looked for a picture related to FOMO and this came up. It was too cute to pass up, even though it has nothing to do with the article. 😁 |
While minimalism should be about what feels good to you and works best for you, seeking out those feelings through gratification alone is going to fill up your life. This is because the temporary nature of gratification means you have to refill your cup, so to speak, over and over again, to keep it full. So focusing on gratifying yourself is going to make a minimalist journey a lot more difficult, if not impossible.
Now, let's examine how satisfaction contrasts with gratification.
Examples of satisfaction in minimalism
If minimalism is adopted as a lifestyle (or aspects of it), then there are long-term benefits to be gained that can't necessarily be reached by using minimalism for limited projects or purposes. In the same way that a crash diet doesn't guarantee permanent weight loss, being a minimalist just to achieve a short-term goal doesn't create satisfaction. It can gratify you, but when you revert back to non-minimalist habits, you'll have to find a new source of good feelings because the positive results fade.
My conclusion is that you have to incorporate minimalism in a long-term or permanent fashion for it to work.
For example, the seasonal capsule wardrobe is useful because you can focus down your wardrobe just enough to create efficiency with minimal change to your life--you don't have to give up any clothes, just put them aside for a while. Using the capsule for 3 months is short enough that most people won't become bored or uncomfortable because of weather extremes. I think 6 months or a year of wearing the same limited wardrobe wouldn't be tolerated well by most people, even if there was little climate variation. Meanwhile, changing out the capsule every week or 2 is too often and would eliminate the time- and energy-saving benefits created by having a capsule wardrobe.
As I mentioned in a previous post, I'm also working on a minimalist healthy eating plan and exercise plan. I'm taking my time with it because I want to make sure I can implement the changes over the long term. I don't want to do a "diet" or start exercising in a way that will end up injuring me or making me give up quickly. Other people use morning and evening routines to reduce chaos and improve feelings of wellness and productivity. Whether you realize it or not, creating a routine is a form of minimalism as defined in the first sentence of the previous section: the practice of focusing on the things that matter most to you and letting go of other things that matter less.
But all of these examples require continuous application in your life if you want to obtain satisfaction from them. Temporary methods result in only temporary fixes (AKA gratification).
How to have both satisfaction and gratification in your life as a minimalist
Lots of people are really into instant gratification. The problem with instant results is they often don't take more than a few moments into account, leaving future happiness untended. But that doesn't mean there shouldn't be any gratification at all. There should be a good balance between both pleasurable experiences in the present and saving some happiness for the future. If it's all one way or another, then there's nothing to look forward to and no motivation to do anything.
It took a bunch of my free time to re-organize my small apartment into a more decluttered, minimalist aesthetic. However, I planned out a place for everything I own in a way that makes sense to me on an intuitive level. So now that my minimalist makeover is done, I have a space that fulfills my needs and wants for lack of clutter, pleasing visuals, and ease of use.
As I continue to easily keep my space clean and organized, I experience satisfaction in how the changes perform for me week after week. The new setup is one that I can easily continue to use as long as I live in this space. I am also gratified (immediate, short-term pleasure) when I can quickly find and use anything I need, whether it's to use my desk space or work on a crafts project.
So in my short experience with minimalism, I find the solution to be quite simple. Find an area that you want to simplify, and build a system to do so. Once that system is in place and you've created habits to make it work, you will get both regular gratifications as well as long-term satisfaction.
As for how to build a system that lasts for a long time, I recommend finding a way to create and keep new habits that work well for you. I know what works for me is starting with micro-habits or tiny habits. For example, if I wanted to start waking up at 5 am instead of 7:30 am so I could have uninterrupted time to start writing a book, I wouldn't just set my alarm for 5 the next morning and expect to jump out of bed and type up 2000 words before breakfast. It might work once or twice, but I might also just hit snooze 17 times and end up waking up at my normal time. 😬
When I've had to change something big, I've broken it down into really small steps and focused just on the first step until I've gotten used to it. In this case, the first step would be to set my alarm for 7:25 for the next morning. That's it, nothing more. I'd keep my wake-up time at 7:25 am for the next few days or weeks until I felt comfortable with it. Then I'd move it up to 7:20, 7:15, and so on. Maybe starting with a 7:00 alarm, I could think about adding a little bit of writing time in the morning. I would probably start with 5 minutes or so, just because it's hard for me to be coherent first thing in the morning.
Nope, this definitely isn't instant gratification. It could take weeks or months to even get to where I fully started my goal of waking up at 5 and writing 2000 words per day. I'm thinking there are lots of people out there who would give up if they had to move this slowly.
If that's true for you, I have an additional suggestion, which is building a reward system for staying on task with your new habits. Incentivizing your behavior is a great way to reinforce the habits and keep them going. Pick things that you enjoy and look forward to, but that won't empty your wallet or lead to other habits that are unhealthy.
There are lots of rewards that are free and create positive associations with your actions. For example, after 20 minutes of writing, you could take a 5-minute dance break. Put on your favorite song and dance around the room to it. Not only would this build endorphins from the exercise, but the increase in blood flow could wake up your brain and give you a dose of creativity!
Another technique I find helpful is called habit stacking. This involves taking on a new habit to existing habits or actions that you usually take. Usually, you stack a new habit with at least 2 existing habits or actions that you already do automatically. For example, you want to drink more water. You could add water into your existing habits in a few ways. Here's how I do it:
- I keep water right next to my bed. When I wake up (old habit/action 1), I sit up (old habit/action 2) and drink some water (new habit) before I even get up for the day.
- I take a drink after each time I use the bathroom (1). When I come out of the bathroom (2), it's a habit now for me to go to my water bottle and drink some (new habit).
I've been good about drinking lots of water for a long time, so I find I don't need to stack it as much anymore. Here are some more independent micro-habits that I have regarding water intake.
- If I'm going to be away from home for an hour or more, I bring water with me in the car. I drink some before I leave the house and make sure I fill up the container before I leave. Then I take a sip before I get out of the car, and another sip when I get back in the car. I also drink some water immediately when I get home.
- I hate talking on the phone, it makes me nervous. So I take a sip before I make a call, and drink some more after the call is over.
- I drink water while I'm cooking after each time I taste my food to see if it's seasoned properly.
- When I [used to] go out to eat, I'd make it a goal to drink the whole cup of water before my meal arrived. I also like to drink at least one cup of water during the meal.
One last piece of advice I have about forming new habits is to work on only 1 habit at a time. It's very fatiguing to train your brain and body to do something different, and if you try to do it for too many things at once, you're going to increase the chances of failure. So instead of writing that novel while starting a strict diet and exercise routine and also remodeling your house by yourself, pick the one that you want to do the most right now and work on it. The other goals will be there when you're ready.
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